I have nothing intelligent to say and so many people have done this, I'll jump on board. Here are 16 things about me!

1. I'm a class valedictorian. Granted, my class only had about 40 students and I only graduated with like a 3.7 GPA, but it was good enough to be a class valedictorian nonetheless. I wrote my valedictory speech in accordance with the school's guidelines, but come graduation day I abandoned all pretense and instead went off on a profanity-filled tirade against my classmates. It was my chance to one-up those that bullied me for years, so I took advantage of it. I got booed as a result and when I crossed the stage to receive my diploma, the crowd was silent and the superintendent didn't even shake my hand.

2. I recently had my college degree voluntarily revoked. My degree has done nothing for me, gotten me nowhere, and was nothing more than an expensive piece of paper in the long run. I burned my diploma and requested the university revoke my degree, making up BS stories about how I cheated in nearly every class I took. They complied. (I did my share of cheating, that is true, but not to the magnitude I convinced them of).

3. I know how to make woodwind reeds. I can make reeds for nearly any woodwind instrument, though my bread and butter was/is bagpipe chanter reeds and drone reeds. I started because I was disappointed in the reeds I bought from other reedmakers that were either too difficult to blow or too high/bright pitched for my liking. I designed my own and sold that design to another major bagpipe reedmaker.

4. I collaborated with a bagpipe maker in designing a solo bagpipe chanter. This chanter is lower-pitched and has a slightly darker tone than most chanters on the market. It's designed to be a perfect fit for my reed.

5. I'm an AWCI certified master clockmaker and watchmaker. I originally took up clock and watch repair as a hobby and advanced my training and skills to where I did it just as a side job. It's now my primary source of income.

6. I can't stand white walls. Like seriously. I hate them with every fiber of my being. All of the walls in my house are painted like a neutral tone (cream, gray, whatever) with a few brightly colored accent walls.

7. I've been a change bell ringer since my teens. Still going strong, and it's probably my favorite hobby. It's a unique thing in North America. As many of you know I'll be venturing to England for several months in the near future to tour bell towers.

8. I went nearly 23 years without ever going on a date of any kind. I met my first, last, and only girlfriend in graduate school. We broke up, I haven't had a girlfriend since, and I never will again. Just not my thing.

9. I knew I didn't want children since I was a little kid. This was an oddity growing up Mormon where they try to indoctrinate you that it's our job to give God's non-corporeal spirit children (that exist in Heaven and are sent down to earth) physical bodies. This always dismayed many who knew me, but I remained firm in that position. At the age of 23 I made the decision permanent, much to the dismay of many people. I still have no regrets and still don't want children.

10. I've been a de-facto atheist since I was about 10 years old. For me, it seemed to be a natural progression when I found out that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, etc. weren't real. It only made sense to also conclude that God wasn't real either. Though I've since dabbled in more mainstream Christianity and in Unitarian Universalism, I never was convinced that God existed and I just can't get myself to believe any of that.

11. I got a choir scholarship to my undergraduate institution for reasons that escape me. I can't sing to save my life. I always say it's because I'm male and choirs are always short of males.

12. I'm actually totally tone deaf! Yes, it's true. I am tone deaf, yet I managed to teach myself guitar, banjo, piano, mandolin, Irish tin whistle, and bagpipe. Don't ask me how I did it, but I did. I don't play any of them all that well, mind you, but passable I suppose. What's even more surprising is I don't know how to sight read. I play strictly by ear. Not bad for a tone-deaf person, eh?

13. I once walked into a bar and got free drinks because of my outfit. Hey, I guess being the guy in short shorts pays off sometimes. It usually results in being the butt end of ridicule and gay jokes (even though I'm straight), but that night I got something out of it. I can only imagine the bartender was a total leg woman and smitten by my hot runner's legs. Who knows?

14. I have no tattoos or piercings and never will. Body modifications are not my thing. I don't understand the appeal in putting yourself through pain for the sole purpose of so-called "beautification." I have absolutely nothing against tattoos or piercings or the people who have them, but I just don't see the appeal for myself.

15. I toilet trained my cats because I hate cleaning litterboxes. It was actually not hard to do, and I saved hundreds of dollars in kitty litter.

16. I had heart surgery at age 21. I was born with a heart defect known as Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome. WPW is a condition which the heart has an "accessory pathway" that sends the electrical impulse through to the ventricles straight from the sinoatrial node into the ventricles, totally bypassing the atrioventricular node. This causes the ventricles to beat prematurely and leads to tachycardia and palpitations. To correct the problem a surgeon snaked a catheter up my femoral artery into my heart, located the pathway and disconnected it. My heart now beats in a normal rhythm and I've not had any issues since then.

There you have it. Some of those you probably knew, other you might not have.

I absolutely can't stand Affirmative Action as it's practiced in the States and some other countries. I've always referred to it as "legalized mandatory discrimination against men and (insert native race here)." I know that sounds harsh to word like that, but it's the god's honest truth of the matter.

Affirmative Action basically states that you are required to maintain at least a certain percentage of female and minority employees, college admission slots, whatever. Personally, I don't think it's that difficult to see the problems with this. Take two candidates applying for a job: a white male and a black female. Now suppose that company is short an employee in either the minority or the female quotas. Now suppose said white male has 20+ years experience in that particular field plus a Master's degree, but the black female only 5 years experience and only an Associate's degree. It's obvious to see which one of the two is the more qualified candidate for the job, but which one's going to get called for an interview? Since Affirmative Action is the law, the less-experienced, less-educated black female has to get the nod.

Affirmative Action results in less-qualified applicants getting interviews, jobs, into college, or whatever. That's the problem. Admission to college, employment, etc. should be based on one thing and one thing alone: qualifications. Whoever is the most qualified gets the job, gets the spot in college, gets whatever. Sometimes I wonder if job/college applications should be submitted with all androgynous psuedonyms and job interviews done behind a wall with one of those artificial voice things so nobody knows the gender or race of the person they're interviewing. Unfortunately that's probably the only way to fairly conduct searching for the right candidate for the job. Sad, but true (as Affirmative Action aside, employer/interviewee/admissions board bias still will come into play).

Sad? Yes. But oh-so-true. It's time to move completely away from racial or gender discrimination of any kind, end Affirmative Action, and start doing things based on merit alone.